X-Mas 2011

This year Christmas was not celebrated as planned. Our initial plan was to spend Christmas eve and day with my family and then leave for LA on the 26th to spend the week with Danny's. We had a slight change of plans due to some unforseen family emergencies but all was wonderful. Christmas Eve was just Danny and I during the day and in the evening we went to visit my dad in the hospital. X-mas eve morning we did our gifts and stockings for each other and then proceeded to finish Christmas shopping (YES, we are very last minute...I had a legit excuse...some people are very lucky I even bothered finishing at this point) and then headed off to visit with my dad for the rest of the evening. X-mas day we were supposed to get up early and head to my parents where he and I were in charge of breakfast and then we would have dinner and do gifts there. I lacked all the motivation in the world to even celebrate this year and refused to sit down at the dining room table as a "family" without my dad. We had a very casual breakfast that we still cooked as promised, then my mom cooked dinner and we did not sit around the table as a family, rather we all ate quickly and brought my dad Christmas dinner and spent the evening with him. We did open our gifts that my parents bought us in between all of this which was something else I did not want to do without my dad but he insisted over the phone that we not let him spoil our day although the goal of my day was to get dinner and go see him. As much as I feel guilty saying this, we were spoiled again this year by my parents and grandpa (and of course I was by Danny) but I would return every gift if it meant reversing what has happened. Christmas was not the same this year...I am blessed and grateful for all they did for us but like I said, it wasn't NEEDED. I was very relieved when we got to see him and then when we got home because that meant we made it through a very rough Christmas...I am looking forward to the new year and all the amazing things it has in store. A lot will be changing for the better and I am hoping it will bring much happiness.

Life unexpected...

Well, I'd rather not write about this because to be honest it's not a memory I'd prefer to read back on and remember but it is something that is a part of us and regardless if I write it, I will never forget it. I think we all are guilty of taking things for granted. Family included. We take for granted that they are always there for us no matter what...but what happens when for a split second...you are faced with the reality, that they may not be there anymore? This past week has opened my eyes to a lot of things...it has made me realize that people are fighting battles inside much greater than they ever show on the outside, it made me realize that in a matter of minutes, the ones you love can be gone, it has taught me that the absolute most important gift in life is the gift of the lives of others important to you. I am so grateful that God had an alternative plan for my dad, and his angels were watching over him...I couldn't imagine my life without him and I hope I never have to feel those feelings of hopelessness, devastation, being scared out of my mind. I have never experienced these feelings this strong in my life and I hope I never have to experience them again.  My entire life came to a crashing hault when I received the phone call at work. I have spent the past 3 days exhausted and just crying. Christmas is not the same without him, I have no desire to celebrate it. I have spent the past 3 days sitting by his side and I would never change that, I will spend every single day by his side.  I am my father's daughter. Through all of this, it has prevailed more than it ever has. He and I have always been very close, but through this, we have become closer than ever. I will not write details, for the details are forever a memory in my mind...but I will say, the most important gift I received this year, was my dad. So to all, please never take for granted what you have...especially your loved ones. Call them daily, ask about their day, keep an interest in their lives. I thought I was on top of this, my mom and I call each other every single day, and my dad and I have always been very close.  But sometimes life takes unexpected turns...those turns, can be fatal. Thanking God everyday for the life he saved. XOXOXO