and then there were three...

Coming May 7th (ish) 2015! 

10 weeks :)

A successful surprise!

Two months ago I decided it was time for another trip to CA.  It had been a few months since I had been home and I was itching for some California sunshine and time with family and friends.  This time was going to be different though, my mom and dad had no idea I was coming.  My sister and I planned it out and with the help of a coworker keeping her busy at work while I sat in 3 hours of traffic to get from SFO to Rio Vista I was able to successfully surprise her at work.  I walked in the door at her salon and she about fell out of her chair! It was amazing! Then we went to the house to surprise my dad.  He was sitting out back and I popped my head out the door and said, "Hello" to which he glanced up and said "hiii" then did a double take and jumped across the lawn in shock.  Once again, amazing!

Baby J's birthday party was also another reason why I chose the weekend I did and I decided I would surprise them as well.  This was a tough secret to keep because Kate would ask me weekly when I was coming home again and I'd have to lie and just tell her I didn't know.  I was so excited and wanted to blurt out, "I'm coming home for Baby's birthday!!!!!!!!" but I kept it a secret for so long, I couldn't ruin it now.  After surprising my parents I drove to Davis and waited for them to get home.  As they pulled in to their garage I walked up and actually scared the heck out of Kate.  She screamed a giant "F-bomb" and cried! The girls were going crazy in the backseat with excitement and Jeff was thrilled.  It was an awesome surprise.  Then, apparently it was celebrate Davis so we got a fireworks show as well.  Elie says, "Wow Baby J, this is the best birthday ever...Ashley came AND she brought fireworks.  Ashley, my birthday is in October" LOL Sorry babe, the fireworks were not my doing.  The excitement was amazing and I helped celebrate at her birthday party on Saturday.  I was so happy I made it.

It was a busy and fun filled weekend.  I wasn't there long since I had just gotten a new job, I figured I'd keep it short.  I ate LOTS of fantastic food, visited with friends, made it to birthday parties (2 in one day that I was lucky enough to make), a night out in Davis, and a BBQ with wonderful family and friends. It was truly a successful weekend with very little sleep but it was well worth it.

Until next time California...XOXO! 

Celebrating...

Us! ❤️❤️❤️

Oh and that thing blinding me? That's called the sun! Apparently it's foreign to this part of the country. But it's shining for us today so we are all smiles heading to Canada for a date at a lovely Italian place. 

Confessions of a babysitter...

Moving here not only caused me to have to quit my job that I loved, but I also had to leave behind families that treated me with the utmost respect in regards to my babysitting services and as a friend.  I became very close with them and there was a mutual respect in many ways.  Not to brag, but they treated me like gold.   They cooked me dinner (you know who you are) knowing I had come straight from work and hadn't had a chance to stop and eat, or they left me cash and a stack of menus to order takeout (which I never did) from, they would sit and chat with me after for endless amounts of time taking interest in my life and even apologizing when they found out my husband was home (which it was always ok), and so many other thoughtful things that I would have never expected and was truly grateful for and felt appreciated.  It had nothing to do with the money, I simply enjoyed caring for their kids and being flexible to work around their schedules so they could have weekly or monthly date nights.  It was truly my pleasure. I loved doing it, with all my heart! I knew moving here I wouldn't have that, the babysitting jobs that is, but I quickly made a few friends out here and they had children and took me up on it.  Their kids are DOLLS and so very well behaved.  I truly enjoy babysitting for them.  I met another family outside of the Coast Guard with three kids, she's an RN and he's just about done with nursing school.  Both used to be army and he's still a reservist.  They also treat me like gold.  Respectful of my schedule, they even went as far as listening to the ONE time I told them Danny's schedule and figured out the days he was home vs. the days he worked and plan their date nights around when he is gone (he was home every night/weekend in CA so it didn't matter as much in terms of date night scheduling there).  So very kind and thoughtful even though I'd happily help out if they needed even when he is home.  These are the types of families I love working for, these are the people I enjoy helping, being flexible for, and giving my time to.

But let's get down to the real reason why I'm writing this...the families that maybe don't have that level of respect for me and the fact that I am a 26 year old married adult with her BA degree that is taking time out of her evening to take care of your two (very wild) children.  We aren't in Davis anymore.  Or California for that matter....here it goes:

Last week a mother text me asking if I was free to babysit Thursday one of Danny's only nights off this week.  Sure I said, no problem.  She asked me to be there at 5:30p.m..  Now, in my opinion, when you are going to be out very late that is something that should be stated at the initial request for the date night.  Very late to me is after 10:30p.m. on a week night. Weekends are fair game, stay out all night, I don't care.  Sounds fair right? Since she asked me to be there at 5:30p.m. for a date night I assumed they would grab dinner, maybe a movie, and be home before 10:00p.m..  As they were running out the door they said they were going to dinner and comedy night at the casino (which I happened to know didn't start till 9:00p.m.).  I had to work the next day at 7:00a.m.. These are the sort of details you discuss with someone before they commit to a week night babysitting job, at least in my opinion.  I don't mind late nights, I don't one bit, I just felt a little...taken advantage of? I babysat all the time during the week and didn't mind it at all.  But, the relationship with the families were much different and well, I enjoyed it a lot more.  So, after being slightly pissed off I did something I have never done before and NEVER would do if I hadn't felt so taken advantage of, I text her to ask her what time she thinks they would be home because I had to be out the door by 6:30a.m. the next day.  She said, "Oh I'm not sure, maybe 11/11:30ish, is that too late?" UH YEAH.  IT IS. So I kindly explained to her and apologized that I had no idea it was going to be this late on a week night  because normally people let me know ahead of time and how I had to work all day the next day.  They came home by 9:30p.m.. *gasp* I know so out of character for me. Ballsy, and I wouldn't normally do something like that, ever.  I would have never done this had I been informed ahead of time and given the chance to turn down the job due to me having to work but they didn't disclose this information until I was already there and they were halfway out the door.  RUDE (some may think I was rude too, but I don't do well when taken advantage of or disrespected).  Oh, but that's not all.  I don't expect people to pay babysitters around here like I was paid in California, the cost of living here is just not the same.  I consider myself very lucky to have found the family I currently help out part time (the nurses) because they do pay me my CA rates and that was THEIR suggested amount.  It's NOT about the money for me and never has been, I babysit for free for a friend here because I just don't mind doing it (sometimes she sneaks money into my tupperware or appliances that she borrows and gives back and gets away with paying me, but I normally don't let her).  This next statement may make it sound like it is about money, but I promise you, it's not! However, when you know the husband works for customs/border patrol and makes DOUBLE what your own husband does and you know the wife works for the Tribe, and you too work for the tribe and know they pay a lot of money to their employees, you know the family can afford the standard going rate around here of $10/hour.  She texts me on her way home and says, "I never asked what you charge, I normally pay $6/hr is that good?" My jaw dropped.  Even when I was 15 years old I never made that.  That is even less than minimum wage here.  I was floored and offended all at the same time.  Especially knowing they can afford it.  I wasn't anticipating anything more than $10/hr and if they pay more (which a few have, it's a pleasant surprise).  I think $10 is fair around here and since it's just an extra thing I do, it's not important.  Babysitting here literally pays for my yoga classes and that's about all I use it for.  But what was I supposed to say after she worded it like that? It was almost her way of sticking me in a situation that she knew I wouldn't say anything in.  I know most of their sitters are these teeny bopping high school girls that don't even drive, but I am not.  I no longer felt the tiniest bit guilty for her coming home early.  As I'm leaving she said, "Thanks so much.  We'll call you again soon".  Please don't.  

Moral of the story, set a rate around here with people and confirm when they will be home before committing to the gig.  Sure, I should have asked ahead of time but if I were the parent I also would have told my babysitter if I was planning on staying out really late on a week night.  The pay wouldn't even have irritated me had they been more respectful about my time.  It's a principle thing.  I am a person too, I have a life, I have a full-time job (which she knew), I have a husband that likes seeing me.  All things she knows.  Respect, that's all I ask for.  You respect me, I respect you, easy as that! 

I miss my California families.




**This post in no way is directed at any of the readers of this blog, I thoroughly enjoy/ed babysitting for each and everyone of you!** <3

Little Bits of Happiness

The sun is setting much later thanks to daylight savings time, close to 8pm already, and it was much warmer.  Stepping out to walk home in the snow and hearing that crunch under your shoes is quite lovely.  It's a wonderful sound, the air is fresh and crisp, and there is an indescribable silence all around you.  It is so quiet it's almost deafening.  It truly is a stunning stillness that surrounds you with peace.  It also makes it even better when the sun is setting and it looks like this...

Tahquamenon Falls and Point Iroquois Lighthouse

If there is one thing the E.U.P. (Eastern Upper Peninsula) doesn't lack it is beauty.  I have never seen scenery as beautiful as some of the sights I've seen here.  The snow just adds even more beauty to these places.  Becca came to visit (willingly) in the midst of winter here from California where the temps are still averaging mid-70's.  I love her for that! We took full advantage of the sunshine here and went to see the Tahquamenon Falls which freeze over in the winter.  Danny and I made this 10 mile hike over the summer to see the Falls and they were beautiful then but to see them this time of year was like nothing I have ever seen before.  You can get to the falls also by driving to them which is what most people do in the winter (obviously weather doesn't permit 10 mile hikes!).  It's amazing to me how these enormous falls freeze almost completely over this time of year.  The icicles along the side were stunning! It was a very fun day filled with adventure (of course).  The day (or her visit) wouldn't have been complete without me getting my car stuck either.  Thank goodness for a good samaritan that just happened to be walking up to from the lake as I was trying to move my car from the deep snow to the other side of the lot.  

Ever since the lakes have become frozen over I have had this strange itch to want to walk on them. They freeze every year to the point of being able to walk/snowmobile/snow shoe/ice fish on but this is the most they have been frozen in 34 years! D gets to do this often for work but I had never experienced it and had been dying to do it! When I first heard that he and other people were out snow moiling and snow shoeing on it I thought they were nuts.  But then I just kept thinking about it and thought, "how many chances in this life after leaving here will I have this opportunity?" probably slim to none.  So while Becca was visiting we made it a goal to find somewhere we could access the lake.  We stumbled upon this by accident, which is also where my car got stuck, and ventured out.  It was exhilarating! As we walked farther and farther out we weren't sure if we were on water yet or still the "shore".  Becca looked down and saw a patch of water below a cut out of ice which was our indicator that we were officially walking on the lake.  My heart may have stopped for a split second and I may have panicked and turned around to run back but realized I couldn't without a picture! I am SO glad I had this opportunity.  

"Lake" Superior

After Becca left D and I made another trip to the Falls because our first attempt together was a bust due to white out weather conditions that we attempted to endure to get there.  Not smart of us, we nearly froze to death...that's only slightly an exaggeration!  Since taking Becca to the Falls just 3 days prior the temps had warmed up a bit and the falls were already flowing a bit more. We also pit stopped at a lighthouse that he goes to while at work and had a stunning view of Canada as well as some great pictures of the lighthouse. 

Just a little side-by-side comparison.  Same location, different season! The left one was taken this past weekend and the right one was taken over the summer.  Pretty awesome right? I love mother nature! 

New beginnings

As I had mentioned in my last post, I am having withdrawals from my infant and toddler interactions.  No wonder people have multiple children, that age is so easy to miss! I applied for a job while still in CA in hopes of having something to come back to.  It was with the Sault Tribe Head Start program.  I didn't hear anything for quite some time and assumed I wasn't going to.  When I returned, they called me for an interview and told me it could take up to 3 weeks for HR to make a decision so not to expect to hear anything back for a while. Crazy. During the interview I found out a tidbit of information that I had not known initially going into this.  I assumed I was interviewing for a preschool position but when I sat down she said "You are aware that this position is for infants and toddlers, right?".  "UHMMM NO but this just makes me happier about actually deciding to come to this interview! Pretty sure my face completely lit up and I shocked them.  It was almost like they were warning me like, "hey, you're going to be in a room with a million schedules and a bit of chaos".  Sign me up! After not hearing back at all I actually sort of just pushed the notion aside thinking it wasn't meant to be.  Well, last week I got a phone call from their HR department offering me the position. I accepted it.

I've spent some time here at a couple preschools and they just haven't fulfilled that void in my life like I thought they would.  The first one was a bit to unorganized for me.  It left my head spinning at the end of each day.  Half the time I didn't even know my work schedule! When I went in for the initial interview she led me to believe the school was something it clearly wasn't.  The second one is where I am subbing right now and it's a great program I'm just finding the children to be a bit challenging to deal with.  Different culture and different lifestyle means different behaviors which I am quickly learning and trying to accept. I miss the respect we were given by the children at my old school.  There was a level of respect between teachers and children like one I had never seen before working there. This was not just for the preschool this respect was extended through the toddler room and infant room.  Sadly, our toddler room (18-30 mos) was better behaved than the preschool classroom I worked at here (3-5 year olds).   I was told many times by children, "I hate you" or "I'm going to tell my mom and she is going to kick your ass" when a child didn't get his way.  Bring it on kid, bring. it. on. Same child also told one of the other teachers, "I'm going to cut you" as he swiped his hand across his throat.  Seriously?! You're 4, where are you learning this stuff? It was just too much for me and not the environment I wanted to work in.  I understand that all children are different and they all need a positive role model in their life and I was doing my best to remain patient with these children and be that role model but the respect in return was just not there.  It wasn't even there with the parents so I guess it shouldn't surprise me that the children acted the way they did.  Out of the 20 children in the program, maybe 5 parents introduced themselves to me.  They would drop off their kids not say a word, and do the same when they picked up.  Don't you care about your child's day? Don't you care that she wrote her name completely by herself for the first time? Don't you care to know what she did all day??? Don't you care to know about the woman that is spending 10 hours a day with your child or at least her name? Brutal.

With that being said, I have finally found an infant and toddler program.  It is going to be a much different experience than La Rue seeing as it is at an Early Head Start program vs. a private preschool but I am very excited to take on this new role.  All children in every program "need" a great caregiver; someone who loves and cares about them, does everything to give them the best care and to teach them about life and prepare them for their next step.  At La Rue, we were there for them during the day and then they all went home to wonderful parents at night.  At Early Head Start you can only qualify to enroll if you are low income, broken families, special needs, etc.  This leads me to believe that many of the children, if not all, come from families that aren't as privileged as others and may not get the quality care they need at home which is where we step in and provide that.  These children need us.  They need us to care that they recited their ABC's for the first time, they need us to care about their counting skills, and they need someone reliable in their life that they can count on to take care of their basic needs.  They need someone that will let them go wild in paint and not for one second care about the mess.  They need ME! :)